49,000+ pilgrims arrived in Santiago in June of 2019. I was one of those and most of the people I walked with would have been in those numbers as well. 49,000 people is a ridiculous number. That essentially means you are never alone. Maybe you will walk alone for part of each day, but you will never really be alone. An extrovert’s dream, right?
I’m an extrovert, of that there is no doubt. So, hiking the Camino should have been just what I wanted, tons of people at all times. To some extent, it is exactly what I wanted. I wanted to be with people every day and the days I struggled the most were also the days I walked and ate by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted some alone time, but the best days were days where there was a combination of people and alone time. With 49,000 people (an average of 1,633 people finishing per day) it was rare to get those days. That didn’t make it bad, it just made it more difficult to contemplate all of life’s deeper questions like, “What crops are they growing in this field,” or “What was the name of the person I walked with yesterday?” You know…the deep stuff.
But like I said, I’m an extrovert, so shouldn’t the ridiculous number of people been exactly what I wanted? Well, yes, kind of. I met so many amazing people over the course of the 5 weeks and I was genuinely glad to see them when I did. In fact, my best memories were directly tied to the people I met and I will never forget them. It was a bit of an extrovert’s dream, but there were two problems with the number of people. The first problem was there were always people. If you were doing the Camino for a pilgrimage you had to deal with the fact that your silence would probably get interrupted by someone and way sooner than you’d probably prefer. Dealing with that was pretty easy though as most people understood when you would say you wanted time and silence to think. They were, after all, probably wanting silence sometimes as well.
The second issue was a bit different, and maybe it was uniquely my issue, but probably not. When you didn’t have a connection with any one of the hundreds of pilgrim’s staying in the same town as you, it could prove to be very lonely. Walking out of a hostel and seeing so many people laughing, relaxing, eating and otherwise enjoying each other’s company was tough on the days when all you felt like doing was joining in, but not feeling like you could. Those were the lonely days.
Those lonely days are where I learned a lot about myself. Even though I am an extrovert, I struggle introducing myself to people who look like they don’t need another member of their group. I learned that I do this, because I am not confident in myself. At my worst times I don’t think I will add value to their group or that they won’t like me. What’s amusing is, that time and again, when I met people and joined in on their conversations, we had a good time, so clearly this was a me thing. It a ridiculous me thing too and I am fully aware.
The thing is, I know this now. I know this stems from a long list of issues I have about myself and this was one of the many things of value that the Camino gave to me. When I had some time to myself, to think and pray about why I was on the Camino, God revealed more about my character and showed me His love through all of those thousands of others. This extrovert was blessed by the welcomeness of others, but also the awareness that we all needed some alone time.